Wait, why don't I have a boyfriend?

August 30, 2011 • 2 notes

“God, I can’t beleive you’re being such a diva about me dressing like a sugar glider for your wedding”

-Strunks, on wanting to choose her maid of honor wedding attire

August 23, 2011 • 2 notes

LDT

strunks:	ok so
	its 355.....
	FUCK OFF 355
punks:	hahahahahaha
	fuck off "light days tampons"
strunks:	oh srsly
	you have no point, ldt
punks:	none at all
	i'd like to meet a girl who uses them
	so i can slap her
	and tell her to cut the shit
strunks:	me too
	i like my tampons to feel like they are fisting me

August 19, 2011 • 1 note

I wouldn’t call myself a “connosseur” so much as an “alcoholic

strunks on wine

August 18, 2011 • 2 notes

Punks:	i sat in my bed from 630 till i fell sleep at 1230
	i had some AloneWine
	and some AlonePizza
	and some AloneRanch
	and i watched an AloneMovie
	that was terrifying
	but i still jerked off to it

August 17, 2011 • 2 notes

strunks:	"what is the cloud?" "whats a browser?" "what is a server?"
strunks:	all these questions were just asked to me by a woman on the phone
punks:	EW
punks:	did you hang up
strunks:	i pantomined shooting myself 9 times, hung myself once, and ended by sliding down out of my chair onto the floor when I then fired off two more rounds into my open mouth
punks:	that is the best response, short of it not being a pantomime, but being real

August 17, 2011 • 3 notes

1. I cum money (“oh ya lost a dolla?/check my dick/fuck the lost and found”)

2. Dick lift-off ( “i need dick lift off/ fuckin rocket ship/ imma gone cum so hard/ya fuckin tooth will chip”)

3. Cock aerobics (“when I work out wit cha/ im a lose and not gaina’/dont need a fucking gym/cuz ya cock’s my personal trainer”)

4. Dick Bedazzler (“I like to get rhine-STONED with my hommies/cuz we so tight/ now my dick shines like a disco ball/when it hits the light”

5. Pedo-Bear that Ho (“dont give a fuck if ya nine/ill do time for my crime/ imma tag ya/then garbage bag ya”)

August 11, 2011

Well i’m gonna go piss out my ass, get on the train
maybe buy some 30s of mountain dew
see ya later

punks bids strunks a fond goodbye on gchat

July 27, 2011

(Note: Lil Wayne has not been made aware that this is his next hit. Our people are currently in talks with his people.)

July 27, 2011 • 2 notes

Punks&Strunks do a dramatic reading of Lil Wayne’s upcoming hit “I cum money”, written by Punks&Strunks

July 27, 2011

Nahp Slahp!